the sun was burning out the cells in my brain

this particular strip is just so very appropriate for my blog.

now seems to be a good time to introduce you all to a softer world. i discovered this delightful little art-comic when it used to be published in the coast, halifax's weekly entertainment newspaper. we ripped it out nearly every week to display on the fridge or someone's door. if i ever find a place to live (i'm still crashing at whit's itty bitty bachelor apartment) i want to order prints from their web site to adorn my walls.

the sound of loneliness makes me happier

the gestation period of a human has passed since my last post. this may lead some to wrong conclusions regarding the reason for my silence. in truth, i simply grew tired of my own narcissistic navel-gazing. and while the past nine months have been filled with events that have rocketed me to bliss and drop kicked me to depression, i have not felt the urge to record these moments. it was a relaxing break for my brain to simply allow this veritable roller coaster of emotion to wash over me, being fully present in it instead of detaching myself by constantly narrating life inside my head.

last spring found me starting my first full time job out of necessity and not desire. in a cubicle, no less. i would list that under the drop kick category. i sincerely felt the drudgery of nine-to-five, monday to friday office work. dilbert comics took on a whole new meaning in my life. i lived for friday. while i understand the vast majority of our society lives like this, i cannot see how. i suspect drinking helps.

monica moved in while she prepared to head back west without me. her departure was gradual (it took three tries for it to finally take) which helped me to adjust to being somewhat alone in the east. it is a very strange feeling to be surrounded by people who have only known you a year. shared history suddenly seemed surprisingly important. none of these people, whom i loved dearly, had met my first car, seen me wear orange ballroom skirts to high school, even recognized mr. pg. i savoured the freedom and the loneliness for the few months it lasted.

then, the culmination of a year's planning and scrimping. europe. most definitely the top of the bliss list. made each and every day spent sorting emails in a lifeless gray box worth it. walking the streets of paris at twilight, drinking wine in borrowed glasses in the middle of palazzo san marco in venice, racing across the tarmac for first-come, first-serve airplane seats with ryanair... those and so many, many more are dream fulfilling moments i can never forget and each one still makes my heart race.

after a few final glorious weeks in halifax, i began the sudden and unexpected drive back. the return across canada, in the same circumstances and with the same wonderful beings as the initial trip, was almost a life in rewind. the first couple days felt as though the two years spent in the east had never happened; that we had arrived triumphantly and were now simply turning back for home. in fact, i kept insisting it was spring, perhaps imagining that we had wintered on the coast. return trips to moncton, montreal, dryden, georgetown, winnipeg and nelson only reinforced the feeling of living in reverse.

now i have landed once again into some sort of normalcy. restarting life back on the west coast is proving to be a challenge, of course, but a delightful one. the job hunt is not my favourite activity. i am absolutely sure within myself that i am more than capable of doing the jobs that i apply for but i find it difficult to prove that to potential employers by means of a cover letter and resume. let me have an interview and i can tell you! but more often than not i don't get that chance. my skills, experience and knowledge are a little all over the map. payroll, design, cheque checking, serving, insurance, cleaning, machine embroidering, reception, knitting, selling... even i have to admit the breadcrumbs on my career path are widely scattered.

which brings me to the straw that broke the stubborn camel's non-blogging back. MetaLab is looking for an office asssitant. look at their web site. it is beautiful. beyond the initial aesthetically pleasing design, it is functional, clean, straightforward... a stunning example of everything i believe web sites should be. everything i wish my web sites were. and i desire this job breathlessly. i want to fetch their dry cleaning and bring them coffee and type minutes of meetings if it means i can absorb some of their genius in the process.

*note* my apologies to the metalab team for this shameless begging and flattery. please be assured it is completely sincere. i just want the chance to work with you.

the clock keeps on doing its job up on the wall

my baby brother is coming to visit me! ack! i am so excited i could vomit.

steve will be here in five days. and he's staying for seventeen! we will have many adventures and happifying moments. i have plastered the house with pictures of him to prepare my room mates for his arrival.

ok, plastered is a bit of an exaggeration. i have randomly placed eight pictures throughout the house.

i want to do everything while he's here. i want it to be his favourite trip ever so he talks it up and convinces my big brother and my baby sister to visit me too. any hints as to how to impress him? i've got lots of food on my list. one problem is he's not a fan of seafood, so one of our biggest attractions is shot. maybe i'll just bribe him with candy. it would work for me.

there is nothing gentle about the light you emanate

me summed up in images. think you can figure out what it means?

proud of ourselves for using so many verbs and nouns

ch-ch-ch-ch-chia

this is the sound of the days burning the light of our nights

today we made it to ottawa. strangely enough, monica thoroughly enjoyed it and i was not overly impressed. that's not completely true. i enjoyed it, but i wouldn't want to live here, while monica would. we felt the same but opposite about winnipeg and ottawa.

did that make any sense?

yesterday we would have made it to ottawa but i put ava in the ditch. i was backing up and took the corner too wide. i'm not even entirely sure how it happened, i just know how ill i felt when i realized it had. we walked to the gas station down the street and, thankfully, the caa tow truck was right there. there was no damage to the van and we only lost about an hour. and i think monica has forgiven me.

i hope.

sat and stared at the parliament buildings today. they're big and old. we didn't go in. i figured inside would be about as interesting as outside. but we did go to the national art gallery and that was nice. saw some van gogh's, monet's, degas', and such. one mondrian i was pretty thrilled with and the greiner pictured here. it was the one painting that made me stop and smile.

we also went to the museum of civilization. i think i'm a little museum'ed out. i'm excited to wander the streets of old montreal and eat fattening food... world famous poutine and smoked meat here i come.

turn my face to the wall

so this weekend is pretty much amazing. we've spent the past couple days working our way south through ontario. ava is aligned and driving very well. yesterday we went to erin, which was even more exciting than i hoped. it's a gorgeous little town with four leaf clovers plastered all over. their slogan is 'experience the charm.' so accurate.

today we went to bethel, which was wonderful, of course. we got our directions online but they were misleading so we were late. we managed to keep it together, but of course we were both freaking out inside. after we'd gone in circles for a few minutes and confirmed that we were horribly lost, i phoned bethel and told the guy in reception what was going on. of course, as soon as i explained where we were, monica spotted the watchtower sign. so we made it. we missed the first prayer but we got the food. which was fettuccine alfredo with lots of vegetables on the side and coconut sherbet for dessert.

we saw karen markus, and jean funk, but that was about it. the whole place felt kind of empty during the tour. we had sixteen people in our group, with people from ottawa, winnipeg, hamilton, kentucky... and somewhere else i can't remember. the picture is of two adorable boys on our tour from the place i can't remember with our tour guide, who claimed to be mario lemieux's nephew.

when we first checked in for the tour the brother at the desk asked where we were from, so we told him bc. he got all excited and says, 'are you the girls driving across canada in the van?' we were a little confused but we couldn't deny it, so then he jumps up and comes around the desk. at first i thought he was going to give us a hug but instead he introduces us to the other people waiting in the lobby and tells us to tell them the story of when we broke down. it was strange.

turns out he's room mates with a guy whose mom is friends with one of the sisters who had us stay in the past week, and the story just got passed along. we felt like celebrities.

this weekend continues to get better, with stratford tomorrow, cirque du soleil sunday, and shopping downtown toronto monday.

one day i'll be sand on a beach by the sea

winnipeg was beautiful. i really enjoyed it. but apparently i'm enjoying everything. so for those of you who think i'm too happy on this trip, here are a couple of complaints:

the wind: ava is a lightweight and the wind can be very pushy. it makes driving very stressful when the wind is strong, as it was for most of the prairies. when we're driving into it, we can't get over 80km. if it's behind us, that's the best because then we might hit 105. but if it's to either side, that's the absolute worst. i have to crank the wheel right into it to stay straight on the road. which gets scary as the wind shifts, or semis pass, and we're veering all over the place.

my bed: i can't even really complain about this. i genuinely enjoy my loft. it's not the most comfortable, but it makes for a good story. i have a military-style cot that folds out in the pop-top area. the first night i slept in it i thought i was going to fall through but since then i have duct taped it extensively and now it's sturdy, if nothing else. this picture doesn't do it justice. i'll have to get one of the cot before my bed is made. then you'll understand.

i'm sorry. that wasn't much complaining at all. and i can't even think of anything i could complain about if i was so inclined. this is one of my dream trips and virtually everything about it is wonderful. i fall in love with nearly every place we stay and every congregation we visit. i love our ridiculously slow pace - we're just crawling out of our camp spot when most of the rv'ers are pulling in for the night. we go hours out of our way to find lavinia or mcmunn simply because we want a picture with the town sign.

what i most love is when we show up at a meeting, how the brothers and sisters make us feel so welcome and really go out of their way to help us. if we're staying in town we have to stay with someone from the congregation, and we always get fed so well by at least one sister in the hall. for instance, tonight we are in dryden, on. the tiny congregation here has us staying in a cabin at a resort run by witnesses. we got to visit with the ones that live around here in the kitchen cabin over rhubarb pie and hot chocolate this evening after the meeting. in the morning a sister is making us pancakes and we're supposed to make it to another sister's for lunch on our way out of town. and if we're not staying in the area, people offer us names and numbers of people they know further along our road in case we need anything.

some nights it's really cold. that's not pleasant. and i hate when i wake up in the middle of the night and i have to go outside to find a bathroom, sometimes even walking to the nearest all night gas station. but really, even that's kinda funny.

sorry guys. i'm keeping my rose coloured glasses. i'm happiest on the road. i'm sure once i get to halifax and settle into 'real' life again i'll have plenty of complaints. and then none of you will want to hear them.

let's go away for awhile
you and i

to a strange and distant land

where they speak no word of truth
but we don't understand anyway

holiday
far away
to stay

on a holiday
far away
let's go today
in a heartbeat

heartbeat
heartbeat

don't bother to pack your bags or your map,
we won't need them where we're going

we're going where the wind is blowing,
not knowing where we're going to stay

heartbeat
heartbeat

we will write a postcard
to our friends and family
in free verse

on the road with kerouac,
sheltered in his bivouac