high above the largest ocean on planet earth

We must talk in every telephone, get eaten off the web
We must rip out all the epilogues from the books that we have read
And into the face of every criminal strapped firmly to a chair
We must stare, we must stare, we must stare

We must take all of the medicines too expensive now to sell
Set fire to the preacher who is promising us hell
And in the ear of every anarchist who sleeps but doesn't dream
We must sing, we must sing, we must sing

While my mother waters plants
My father loads his gun.
He says, "Death will give us back to God,
just like the setting sun is returned to the lonesome ocean."

We must blend into the choir, sing as static with the whole,
We must memorize nine numbers and deny we have a soul,
And to this endless race for property and privilege to be won
We must run, we must run, we must run.

We must hang up in the belfry where the bats in moonlight laugh
We must stare into a crystal ball and only see the past
And into the caverns of tomorrow with just our flashlights and our love
We must plunge, we must plunge, we must plunge.

And then we'll get down there,
way down to the very bottom of everything
and then we'll see it, oh we'll see it, we'll see it, we'll see it.

Oh my morning's coming back
The whole world's waking up
Oh the city bus is swimming past.
I'm happy just because
I found out I am really no one.

At the Bottom of Everything
Bright Eyes

tapping your time on a conga drum

i made a new friend from south africa who introduced me to my newest goal. emu riding. wee!

the bits of your broken tooth

o job hunt. you are so demoralizing. once again i begin to consider the benefits of marrying rich.

white as a knuckle and terribly upset

i have made yogurt twice now.

wait, that's a lie.

i have successfully made yogurt twice now. there was some trial and error but i have mastered my own process. i am eating some of my second batch right now and i have not died or even fallen seriously ill.

it's actually quite simple. so simple it seems like it shouldn't work. warm your oven to 100 degrees and turn on the interior light. at the same time, bring a pot of milk to a boil. watch it carefully because once it hits boiling point it foams over in half a second. remove from heat and let cool until it is lukewarm to touch. technically you want to heat the milk to 180 degrees, then cool it to 110. i still use a thermometer because i'm very impatient and messed up at least one batch by not letting it cool long enough. once cooled, stir in a tablespoon of plain yogurt with active cultures - this is likely any plain yogurt you buy at the store or leftovers from a previous batch. cover with a lid and place in the warmed oven. leave the light on but turn the heat off. the light is enough to maintain the level of warmth that will cultivate the bacteria. after seven hours you will have yogurt! and the longer you leave it past seven hours, the thicker and more sour it will become.

i prefer plain yogurt. i add honey or fruit when i eat it so i don't have any suggestions for how to flavour your creation. but it's yogurt! and you made it! i say just try it to feed to friends. yogurt party!

the sun was burning out the cells in my brain

this particular strip is just so very appropriate for my blog.

now seems to be a good time to introduce you all to a softer world. i discovered this delightful little art-comic when it used to be published in the coast, halifax's weekly entertainment newspaper. we ripped it out nearly every week to display on the fridge or someone's door. if i ever find a place to live (i'm still crashing at whit's itty bitty bachelor apartment) i want to order prints from their web site to adorn my walls.

the sound of loneliness makes me happier

the gestation period of a human has passed since my last post. this may lead some to wrong conclusions regarding the reason for my silence. in truth, i simply grew tired of my own narcissistic navel-gazing. and while the past nine months have been filled with events that have rocketed me to bliss and drop kicked me to depression, i have not felt the urge to record these moments. it was a relaxing break for my brain to simply allow this veritable roller coaster of emotion to wash over me, being fully present in it instead of detaching myself by constantly narrating life inside my head.

last spring found me starting my first full time job out of necessity and not desire. in a cubicle, no less. i would list that under the drop kick category. i sincerely felt the drudgery of nine-to-five, monday to friday office work. dilbert comics took on a whole new meaning in my life. i lived for friday. while i understand the vast majority of our society lives like this, i cannot see how. i suspect drinking helps.

monica moved in while she prepared to head back west without me. her departure was gradual (it took three tries for it to finally take) which helped me to adjust to being somewhat alone in the east. it is a very strange feeling to be surrounded by people who have only known you a year. shared history suddenly seemed surprisingly important. none of these people, whom i loved dearly, had met my first car, seen me wear orange ballroom skirts to high school, even recognized mr. pg. i savoured the freedom and the loneliness for the few months it lasted.

then, the culmination of a year's planning and scrimping. europe. most definitely the top of the bliss list. made each and every day spent sorting emails in a lifeless gray box worth it. walking the streets of paris at twilight, drinking wine in borrowed glasses in the middle of palazzo san marco in venice, racing across the tarmac for first-come, first-serve airplane seats with ryanair... those and so many, many more are dream fulfilling moments i can never forget and each one still makes my heart race.

after a few final glorious weeks in halifax, i began the sudden and unexpected drive back. the return across canada, in the same circumstances and with the same wonderful beings as the initial trip, was almost a life in rewind. the first couple days felt as though the two years spent in the east had never happened; that we had arrived triumphantly and were now simply turning back for home. in fact, i kept insisting it was spring, perhaps imagining that we had wintered on the coast. return trips to moncton, montreal, dryden, georgetown, winnipeg and nelson only reinforced the feeling of living in reverse.

now i have landed once again into some sort of normalcy. restarting life back on the west coast is proving to be a challenge, of course, but a delightful one. the job hunt is not my favourite activity. i am absolutely sure within myself that i am more than capable of doing the jobs that i apply for but i find it difficult to prove that to potential employers by means of a cover letter and resume. let me have an interview and i can tell you! but more often than not i don't get that chance. my skills, experience and knowledge are a little all over the map. payroll, design, cheque checking, serving, insurance, cleaning, machine embroidering, reception, knitting, selling... even i have to admit the breadcrumbs on my career path are widely scattered.

which brings me to the straw that broke the stubborn camel's non-blogging back. MetaLab is looking for an office asssitant. look at their web site. it is beautiful. beyond the initial aesthetically pleasing design, it is functional, clean, straightforward... a stunning example of everything i believe web sites should be. everything i wish my web sites were. and i desire this job breathlessly. i want to fetch their dry cleaning and bring them coffee and type minutes of meetings if it means i can absorb some of their genius in the process.

*note* my apologies to the metalab team for this shameless begging and flattery. please be assured it is completely sincere. i just want the chance to work with you.