why would i hitch a ride when i can drive?

tonight i took myself on a date. after work i went to an adorable coffee shop called the paper chase for a dinner consisting of a curried vegetable burger with couscous salad. i have no problems with eating by myself in a restaurant. actually, i do it far more often than i probably should since i am lazy and don't particularly enjoy cooking. however, after dinner i also took myself to a movie.

the oxford had a one night showing of raiders of the lost ark at 7:00. i love that movie, as i love indiana jones (i suppose i could say i had a date with young harrison). i even love the historical and biblical references, even though they are so often incorrect. as it is a thursday evening and most people i know had their meeting, i went alone.

it was surprisingly strange.

i'm used to doing things alone and it rarely concerns me. why is it that going to a movie, where you sit in a dark theatre, facing forward, not interacting with any of the people you go with, feels like it is supposed to be a social activity? i felt conspicuous all evening.

and it didn't help that i also won the door prize. i think they picked my ticket on purpose to draw more attention to me.

'look eveyone! this girl came to the movies alone! let's all point and laugh!'

i don't really think that. i know the majority people are too self absorbed to bother noticing who else is even in the same room as them. including myself, since i obviously spent the night fretting about being there sin amigos. it was just such an odd experience. i felt i needed to share it.

i could take a sleeping pill and sleep at will

monica has returned from a land far far away bearing wonderful gifts. we spent the afternoon drinking tequila, eating pop tarts, and catching up.

just for the record, tequila and pop tarts do not go well together.

once again that rising sun is dropping on down

before he could leap and spring and smother and blot it from thinking not because you dont dare think whole even to yourself the entirety of a dear hope or wish let alone a desperate one else you yourself have doomed it but because thinking it into words even only to himself was like the struck match which doesn't dispel the dark but only exposes its terror - one weak flash and glare revealing for a second the empty road's the dark and empty land's irrevocable immitigable negation.

william faulkner
intruder in the dust

it's so easy to leave me

last night i dreamed that i was getting married. i was surprisingly calm about the whole thing, especially considering it was after 10pm the day of the wedding and i had absolutely no plans. my mom and my girls were getting me ready and i kept remembering things i should have done, like find a dress or ask people to come, and they would tell me they had taken care of it. then i would wander off and get distracted watching tv or doing something else completely unrelated. finally i decided i should see the guy i was going to marry, since, somehow, this hadn't happened before. it was only after i met him and saw that he had a mullet that i started to worry. thankfully i woke up.

i'm guessing this was prompted by the news that cody cloarec is engaged to his sweet little marissa. i very much want to be at the wedding but unless a miracle occurs i highly doubt it will happen. it'd be fantastic though.

you may notice i've made some changes. i've also finally added the pictures from my trip... it only took me how many months? four? that's progress. at least i actually did it. the links should be down on the right somewhere. enjoy.

i went to cats this past friday. it was a spontaneous whim - read about it thursday and bought myself a ticket for the next night. it was splendid. and strange. so very, very odd. i knew going in that it was all about cats and that the lyrics were taken from poetry by t.s. eliot, but there is a difference between knowing and experiencing. i spent the entire first act baffled but gave up on trying to make sense of it for the second. that made it much more enjoyable.