what fun is being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

Tuesday, August 28

the back lane came alive, half moon whispered 'go'

to my small but patient audience:

sorry about the delay. you should all know i'm a procrastinator. i have no other excuse. but i have been working on getting this updated. i'm skipping ahead to an amazing experience we had, but then i will go back and catch you guys up on what's been going on so far.

we spent this past saturday night in the kingdom hall parking lot in high level, alberta. we got in quite late and figured that was the best way to get to the meeting in the morning. which we did. and met every witness in high level, it felt like. it's a congregation of about forty and they are very friendly. the couple that lives in the hall, the dillons, had us over for lunch. (coincidentally, turns out they are related to my red-headed britta). then we packed up and headed out of town on our way to hay river, nwt, at about three.

we got about an hour down the road - that would be a whopping 60km in the van - when the van completely lost power and monica pulled over to the side of the road. we couldn't get her started again. she was turning over but just not starting. we had a full tank of gas. so we pulled out the manuals and started diagnosing the problem. we did some tests, including pulling off the hose to the fuel pump and making sure it was working. that was fun. sprayed gas in monica's face. we were still baffled after an hour. we took a break for dinner and to collect our wits, at which point we prayed for help and enjoyed an egg salad sandwich.

we played with the engine for another hour, then we gave up and tried calling ama. unfortunately we were out of cell range. we were starting to think we could camp there on the side of the road until the people from high level came by on their way to their assembly. that would only be a week. (ack.)

just at that moment a car pulled over and two guys got out to see if they could help. one of them said he'd worked with cars quite a bit so he offered to take a look. we showed them what we had done and he started playing with some of the wires. they mentioned they were on their way home to calgary from toronto by way of hay river. we were laughing about the detour we were both making and we asked what they had been doing in toronto. they said they just took a course there. a little later in the conversation i asked the one guy what kind of course they had taken, and he says, it's called a ministerial training school. i nearly died. mine and monica's eyes bugged out of our heads and we laughed hysterically. none of us could believe it. when i think about it now it's crazy that they even stopped at all because we were just sitting in the van at that point. we didn't even have the hazards on because they don't work. God really takes care of his servants, hey? even lowly little us.

so the rest of the story is that we think the coil is dead and we had the van towed back to high level. we're back camping in the kingdom hall parking lot awaiting the part. it should get here tomorrow morning from edmonton. craziness hey!? turns out these guys, phil and vin, are from the mandarin congregation in calgary. i've probably seen, if not met, them before. we were joking that this was a sign that they were going to be sent to pg to help the mandarin group get started. vin did mention that russel reed had told him that one of the places in canada that needs help with chinese is pg. neat, hey?

anyway, we're doing great. the congregation here is taking excellent care of us. and hopefully we'll be in hay river for the meeting tomorrow night. if the van doesn't get fixed tomorrow we're thinking we might stick around here and see if we can go to the assembly in yellowknife. we'll see how things go.

Wednesday, June 21

long live the morton

last night i sold the love of my life to a man named ken. i'm as miserable as is to be expected. i will never forget him. he was good to me right up to the last. let us all take a moment of silence to remember the good times with my love, morton gunther adolf schmidt.

i miss you.

Saturday, March 11

the look on your face is delicate

you know a friend is a keeper when you leave them and you feel inspired. i just spent a lovely, refreshing, and upbuilding week in calgary. i return home with renewed courage to look for more than just satisfaction in each day. thanks guys.

good times.

and a big fat congratulations to laura and jordan monk, whose wedding last weekend was the reason i was reunited with friends in calgary. you guys are precious.

Saturday, January 28

since then i've been so good at vanishing

flippant rejection
agitates their fresh simplicity
nudge and wonder
because rain could evaporate
because she is irretreivable
absolve feverish yearning if
you are smitten

Sunday, January 15

some disbelief to suspend

in my lifelong quest to become a better person, i find i am often returning to the same basic goals: less time wasters, more creativity and spirituality. i'm tired of wasting my life. i have been back from mazatlan for nearly a year. i admit i have learned a lot but so far it has only been knowledge. i haven't applied it. i haven't become any wiser from my experiences.

at pioneer school they said to set one goal each month. that's it. i'm working on that. i have a tendency to set all my goals at once and to be upset when i fail to perfect myself overnight. i need to slow down. work on one thing. perhaps then i'll actually get somewhere.

simple goal for january: get back in the habit of reading my Bible every day. preferably in the morning.

Sunday, January 1

sufficient for each day is its own badness

in the past i've tried to live my life without fear of the future. i like to think i have, anyway. and lately i have come to realize that a crippling terror of what i could become has been paralyzing me. i have felt unable to progress in any specific direction because i have begun to fear myself. and, moreso, my potential future self. but it's ridiculous to let myself be hindered by what could happen tomorrow, or the next day. it also may not happen. and even if it did, life would still go on.

when i started pioneering, the idea that i would one day quit never seriously entered my head. i had chosen my career and i knew nothing else would ever bring me as much joy. but, as i have been told countless times and am finally figuring out for myself, life never goes as you plan or expect it to. up until today i had been considering going off the list to deal with myself. even after the past two weeks of pioneer school. the school made me realize what a privilege and responsibility pioneering is, but it also left me wondering if i am capable of handling it at this point in my life. i'm still not sure. but after my pioneer meeting with my elders this evening, i have decided to be sure i am unable to continue before i give up.

so now begins the process of putting my life together, piece by piece. one day at a time. getting myself sorted out. with God's help, of course. one thing i have learned so clearly is the need to stay close to God. and that is the main reason i am choosing to continue to fight. each day i fight is a day that forces me to rely more fully on him.

Saturday, November 5

i can try for your heart

this afternoon, at a quiet, intimate ceremony, melissa margaret freudentheil and caleb joshua johnson wed. only their closest family and friends were there. she looked exquisite. her bridesmaids were perfect - beautiful without detracting from the bride and emotional without wrecking their makeup. everything was wonderful. i cried like a baby.

congratulations brother caleb joshua and sister melissa margaret johnson.

the moon has nothing to be sad about

tonight we had our first snowfall. i think it will be gone by morning, but right now it looks gorgeous. i was only inside for about an hour, and when i came out it was dark and everything was lightly blanketted in white. it's pretty much the only day of winter i genuinely love. i'm going to have to put aside some money for snowboarding this year so i have something to get me through. either that, or actually have a toboganning party instead of just talking about it.